Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Embracing the Possibilities

Just now I was thinking about the past year and how much I've changed. This time last year I had already decided I was leaving my husband and we were still living together, but in separate bedrooms. I had a lot of anger and bitterness in my heart over my marriage and confusion over where I belonged in the world. I had a very stressful job and a very stressful home life.

At the same time though, I was growing and paving the foundation for the life I have now. In the last 12 months I have left my marriage of 9 years, moved into a new apartment with my two kids, changed jobs, and found my niche as a writer. I have let go of years of resentment, toxic and unproductive relationships, financial stress, and negative thought processes. I've discovered hidden talents and broadened my horizons; what used to be limits are now routine.

I'm still a work in progress though, still building on that foundation that is to be the basis for my best years yet. I'm learning to accept and own my flaws, and work towards changing them; I'm learning how to detox my body with better nutrition and exercise, and detox my mind by shifting my focus to positive things. I'm learning to let go of old fears and boldly try new things; instead of saying, "I wish that was me", I'm saying, "well why not me?".

For so many years, I was so stifled. My dreams didn't matter, my desires didn't matter, I didn't really matter. Now I feel like for the first time in a decade, I can breathe again. I can look at my life as a blank canvas, just waiting for a beautiful picture to be painted on it.

For the first time since I was an 18 year old heading off to college, I am embracing all the possibilities my life can hold and I intend to make the most of every last one of them.

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