Thursday, July 7, 2016

Still Learning

Every day I learn something new, but some days I relearn an old lesson.  I have noticed that sometimes when I get out of line, the universe sends me signs to point me back in the right direction.  That happened today, and since becoming more consciously attuned to my intuition and environment, I sat up and paid attention.

I've been at my current job for about 6 months.  While it's far from being a challenging or personally rewarding job, it did happen to come along at a time when I needed to slow down and get my feet planted on solid ground.  However, I've been having a problem with one of my co-workers.  Not an outright conflict, but just an undercurrent of discord due mainly to some personality clashing. I'm very laid back, and she's very rigid; I'm more of a people person and she's very analytical.  Sometimes the way she says and does things grates on my nerves because I perceive them as being harsh and insensitive, but to her credit, sometimes I am overly sensitive and read too much into small matters.

When I arrived at work this morning, she had left a note on my desk asking me to see her first thing in regards to an email that was sent out yesterday.  She had already followed up that same email with a personal visit to my desk to ask if I had any questions, to which I responded that I did not.  So when I saw the note, I felt as though she was on a power trip and trying to beat a dead horse.  Instead of going straight to her, I went to my supervisor to vent my frustrations. Six months of pent up frustration came tumbling out and in the course of the conversation, I learned why my co-worker does what she does, the history of some incidents that occurred in our department and better insight into her personality. After my supervisor and I finished talking, I went to my co-worker with the note and was mentally prepared to discuss our conflict with a level head and without resentment. As it turns out, all she needed was my signature on the email. I felt like a big fool.

Not only was I "making a mountain out of a molehill" over the email, but I caught myself thinking on the way to work negative thoughts about my co-worker and my job.  I learned long ago that whatever your mindset is becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you think bad things will happen, they will, and vice versa. Essentially I was setting myself up for a conflict that didn't exist because of two main reasons:  first I allowed myself to let negative thoughts creep in, and second I didn't address the personality issue sooner.

As soon as I sat back down at my desk, the Bible verse that is delivered to my inbox every day came from Matthew 7:7:  "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."  The answer to my problem with my co-worker was there all along, I just didn't bother to ask for clarity. Instead, I let the seed of negativity be planted and then by not addressing it, I let that seed grow and thrive.

Wisdom comes from learning from your mistakes. Hopefully this is one lesson that I won't have to repeat.


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